Library Representative/Speaker: We have a LOT of books.
Student Counseling Center Representative/Speaker: How many of you are planning to get an STD this year?
Student Judicial Programs Representative/Speaker: I certainly hope that all of you who attended this university for your undergraduate degree remember what constitutes academic misconduct and use that information in pursuit of your graduate degree.
Office of Sponsored Programs Representative/Speaker: Unlike faculty, we are always reachable.
Provost: I can’t believe how many of you stayed here after you got your undergraduate degrees!
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