Goat #1 started at a private school this year. After our uberfrustrating, inspiration-killing, mind-numbingly boring experience with public school in Exile, we knew we couldn’t risk him going back to that environment. So we did our due diligence (on the 3 whopping private school options available here in the Haute) and enrolled him in the one that was the best fit for our family. When we looked into private schools, we discovered that all of the options were religious schools. Not being Catholic (and not being willing to shoulder tuition payments more than 6 times higher than parish members) we eliminated the Catholic school almost immediately. Our other two options were very similar, but one had a preschool that Goat #2 could attend, so that tipped the scales in its favor.
So far, it has proven to be an excellent decision. It is everything we wanted for him when he started school, except a year late: there are only 9 students in his class, so he’s getting a lot of positive attention from the teacher; the curriculum is more challenging, so he’s not bored and acting up like last year; and when he finishes his work, no one expects him to sit quietly doing nothing in his chair. He can read or draw, so long as he is quiet, until the other students finish. He’s engaged and learning and HAPPY.
There is, however, one part of the curriculum where he’s not quite up to snuff: his Bible study class. It’s our fault. We haven’t made enough of much of any effort to find a church here. The Goats’ minimal Bible knowledge can probably be attributed to Veggie Tales movies and books.
We’re not complete heathens. We pray. We say Grace. We talk about God and Jesus. We have children’s Bibles. But the full KJV? Not so much. I mean, we have them. We just haven’t read to the kids from them. And until now, that’s been okay. But Goat #1 has an oral exam of Bible knowledge on Monday, and if our recent review session is any indication, we’re about to be SO OUTED as the worst parents in the whole school:
Q: Who were Isaac’s parents, and how old were they when he was born?
Actual answer: Sarah was 90 and Abraham was 100.
Goat #2 answer: Sarah was 90 and Abraham Lincoln was 100.
Q: What gifts were given to Jesus by the Wise Men?
Actual answer: Gold, Frankincense, & Myrrh
Goat #2 answer: Gold, Frankenstein, & a mirror
Q: Who were the first apostles Jesus called to follow him?
Actual answer: Peter, Andrew, James, John
Goat #2 answer: Peter, Andrew, James Bond
Q: Who were the three sons of Noah?
Actual answer: Shem, Ham, & Japheth
Goat #2 answer: Shemp, Ham, & Jeff
Q: Who were the twin sons of Isaac and Rebekah?
Actual answer: Jacob and Esau
Goat #2 answer: Jacob and Seesaw
So probably, we ought to work on this with him so that the Biblical words and names are more familiar to him than presidents, movie monsters, reflective glass, spies, stooges, a random guy named Jeff, and playground equipment. Or maybe we just need to clean out his ears.
Regardless, I think we’re about to learn a lot around here. And that’s never a bad thing.
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