Waltz In Exile


Liveblogging: Goat-free Hour #1
13 June 2009, 10:27 am
Filed under: Exile, Family, Goat-free, Goats, Marriage | Tags: , , ,

National Geographic channel. 

Dark matter, WMAP, and the seemingly-inevitable end of the universe.

No one (ahem cough*goatdaddy*cough ahem) turns the volume up to 44 to counter the screaming banshees.

There are no screaming banshees.  Even MSF is quiet.  This is all very odd.  I haven’t heard my name 7,355 times already this morning.  I haven’t sopped up knocked-over bowls of Cheerios.  No one has asked for M&Ms for “breakfast snack” (don’t ask me what precipitated it, because I don’t know, but last night, out of nowhere, Goat #2 announced that she was “changing my nickname, Mama.  From now on, you call me ‘snacks,’ mmmkay?”  Um, yeah.  MMMkay. Goofball.)

Goat #1 isn’t watching cartoons while worrying his loose front tooth with his tongue (actually, even if he were here, he wouldn’t be doing this.  Darn thing fell out in his sleep last night, it was so loose.  At first he thought he swallowed it, but then he found it lying next to his pillow.  HUGE gap in the front right of his smile.  Cutest thing ever.  I should post a picture.  No, wait, I can’t take a picture; he’s NOT HERE. [That’s apparently going to take some getting used to.] Also, I can’t find my camera.)

Goat Daddy is now watching a very. dire. report on the Mars Rover (“it’s going to be the race of their lives.”  Um, did I miss something?  Is that thing an actual living, breathing being?  I thought it was a robot?)  Apparently, my goat-free days are going to involve a lot of NGTV.

I knew there was going to be a downside to this.

Actually, downside #2 is my natural tendency to worry worry worry the hell out of any situation.  So of course the first thing I did this morning when Grandma’s Highlander pulled away from the curb was turn to Goat Daddy and say “They’re going to be all right, right?  RIGHT?  What if they get too close to the horses and get kicked in the head?  What if they fall OFF a horse?  And you know, we don’t really know for sure if they’re allergic to anything.  What if they’re allergic to bees and one of them gets stung and no one has an epi pen or even any Benadryl and ohmygodIhavetocallyourMomright.now.”

I think I better review the “recommendations” from my last post.  If I don’t distract myself, I could have a full-blown panic attack before the end of hour #3.

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[…] posting “[censored]” every day would just be boring.  Also, smug.  Consequently, the goat-free liveblogging was […]

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