Waltz In Exile

14 August 2009, 3:34 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized


I have new office furniture at work. Which necessitated a lot of office rearranging. Which led to the discovery that there is only one place where I can connect my internet, phone and power lines, and it is in the corner farthest away (impossibly so) from where I wanted to put my new desk. The reason I wanted to put my desk in a particular spot is because the “walls” of my office/cube/workspace form 3 sides of a square and I don’t want to sit with my back to the hallway (because apparently I was a gunfighter in a former incarnation and cannot relax or concentrate with my back to an open space) but I also don’t want to FACE the hallway, because holy cow, if you happen to look up when someone walks by (and how do you avoid that?) THESE PEOPLE WILL TALK YOU TO DEATH.*

But the stupid lack of connections made my only two options being back to hallway or face to hallway. I had to choose back to hallway (even though I will never be comfortable. EVER. At least I won’t make eye contact that accidentally starts a conversation.)


The “wall” opposite the hallway opening, though, has a WINDOW in it. A big window. No, I don’t know why. But whoever invented these should be shot. Because with my back to the hallway, I now have a partly see-through, partly reflective ginormous piece of glass I see all day long. That shoots a glare of the overhead lights at my left eye if I happen to slouch (great motivator for sitting up straight – go blind in one eye every time you hunch over!) I was just going to put a post-it note over the offending glare and live with it, but then I discovered that some of these people are so eager to talk to me that they will use the hallway on the other side, and stop at my window and smile and start chatting about the Boy Scout fundraiser, through the window.

So I said to one of my coworkers who does NOT do this, “what do you think, can I find something to put over the “window”?” And she said maybe I should get a corkboard and tack up pictures of the kids, and I said:

(By the way, if you’ve been wondering when I’d get to the joke part, here it is.)

“Oh, I know! I’ll get a giant poster of Rita Hayworth to aid in my escape!”

Trusted coworker #1 didn’t laugh; she didn’t get it. Neither did trusted coworker #2 (although she might not have heard me.) Nor trusted coworker #3. I’m all out of trusted coworkers, now, so SOMEONE APPRECIATE MY HUMOR, DAMN IT.

Thank you. That is all.


*I just realized that I do this myself sometimes, now.  ARRRRRGH.


16 Comments so far
Leave a comment

I think the good news here is that YOU get your own humor, and wouldn’t it be tragic if even you didn’t get your own jokes? Perhaps it’s best you have your back facing all those who missed the punch line.

Comment by Jocelyn

…and you just moved the shibboleth to a whole new level.? THIS IS WHY I LOVE YOU PEOPLE!!

Comment by waltzinexile

ROFFLE!! Nice one. Don’t forget your bible to hold your tools. =)

Comment by pgoodness

…and we escalate again! You guys are AWESOME.

Sent from my iPod

Comment by waltzinexile

Rita Hayworth. Shawshank. TOTALLY get it.

Hey — listen. Technology has come a LONG way since the old days when we were kids. Some genius invented these AMAZING things called EXTENSION CORDS. And I believe that the cords for network, phone and Internet now come in – wait for it ——


Look into it. Trust me. You won’t be sorry.

Comment by bejewell

But…but…then I won’t get blog fodder from my discomfort! I can’t let you have a monopoly on annoying coworker blogging. Not without a fight, anyway.

Sent from my iPod

Comment by waltzinexile

I have never once seen that movie. I’m talking I haven’t even seen CLIPS of that movie, and I know that is weird because, when TBS isn’t airing some Will Smith movie or the ilk, they are showing the hell out of some Shawshank, but I have definitely read the story, so I totally got the humor, and I think that has to count for something!

Comment by foradifferentkindofgirl (fadkog)

You don’t need to do all the same stuff. Speaking the language is enough. (Although you really need to see the movie. But the first time should be the unsanitized version.) Also, bonus points for having read the short story — I loved that one, too.

Sent from my iPod

Comment by waltzinexile

Maybe if you had said it in your best Morgan Freeman voiceover…or maybe it was the idea of you bursting through the icky sewage that rendered them speechless. In any event, sounds like you need a big slab ‘o cork and some thumbtacks.

Also, in your current desk position, I recommend a long cardigan and/or no low-rise pants.

Comment by smalltownsmalltimes

Low rise pants…noted.

Sent from my iPod

Comment by waltzinexile

I got it, though I admit it did take me a second. It’s not my day.

I sit with my back to a hallway and I hate it. My computer screen is completely visible to any who walk by/in my cube. And even when I am doing actual work, which I do sometimes do, I find it irritating because people are inexorably drawn to reading whatever I’m working on. AND IT BUGS. Especially that one woman who likes to offer suggestions.


Comment by aliasmother

ALWAYS with the working at work.? My boss?? NINJA.

Comment by waltzinexile

It is late at night, and I totally got it right away. Was even looking in the store at the movie today.

I do run into the same issues, usually with musical references. At least my kids are old enough, and I am a big influence on their music, they usually get my bizarre references. I don’t know if that is a good or bad thing!

Comment by TracyB

All the cool kids get it.? It’s why I love you guys.? And re: your kids understanding your bizarre references: It’s a good thing!? All families should have ways to connect like that :)? Also, teaching your kids to like decent music is the hallmark of good parenting.? Mine are on a James Taylor kick right now, and I’m totally good with that.

Comment by waltzinexile

With TracyB’s comment I feel the need to say “you know that song by that band with that guy.”

Comment by Heather


Sent from my iPod

Comment by waltzinexile

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