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I have new office furniture at work. Which necessitated a lot of office rearranging. Which led to the discovery that there is only one place where I can connect my internet, phone and power lines, and it is in the corner farthest away (impossibly so) from where I wanted to put my new desk. The reason I wanted to put my desk in a particular spot is because the “walls” of my office/cube/workspace form 3 sides of a square and I don’t want to sit with my back to the hallway (because apparently I was a gunfighter in a former incarnation and cannot relax or concentrate with my back to an open space) but I also don’t want to FACE the hallway, because holy cow, if you happen to look up when someone walks by (and how do you avoid that?) THESE PEOPLE WILL TALK YOU TO DEATH.*
But the stupid lack of connections made my only two options being back to hallway or face to hallway. I had to choose back to hallway (even though I will never be comfortable. EVER. At least I won’t make eye contact that accidentally starts a conversation.)
The “wall” opposite the hallway opening, though, has a WINDOW in it. A big window. No, I don’t know why. But whoever invented these should be shot. Because with my back to the hallway, I now have a partly see-through, partly reflective ginormous piece of glass I see all day long. That shoots a glare of the overhead lights at my left eye if I happen to slouch (great motivator for sitting up straight – go blind in one eye every time you hunch over!) I was just going to put a post-it note over the offending glare and live with it, but then I discovered that some of these people are so eager to talk to me that they will use the hallway on the other side, and stop at my window and smile and start chatting about the Boy Scout fundraiser, through the window.
So I said to one of my coworkers who does NOT do this, “what do you think, can I find something to put over the “window”?” And she said maybe I should get a corkboard and tack up pictures of the kids, and I said:
(By the way, if you’ve been wondering when I’d get to the joke part, here it is.)
“Oh, I know! I’ll get a giant poster of Rita Hayworth to aid in my escape!”
Trusted coworker #1 didn’t laugh; she didn’t get it. Neither did trusted coworker #2 (although she might not have heard me.) Nor trusted coworker #3. I’m all out of trusted coworkers, now, so SOMEONE APPRECIATE MY HUMOR, DAMN IT.
Thank you. That is all.
*I just realized that I do this myself sometimes, now. ARRRRRGH.
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