Tonight when I got home with the Goats, Goat #1 was so into his DS game that he stayed in the car after Goat #2 and I came in the house. He didn’t come in for almost 15 minutes, so I was in the kitchen still getting dinner underway when he finally came in the back door. When he did, he was holding his right arm at a weird angle, with his DS case sort of tucked against his body with his elbow. He said “My arm really hurts, and I don’t know why!”
I thought he must have a weird cramp from carrying his case so awkwardly. So I took his case from him, and set it on the counter. As soon as I had the case, he tried to straighten his arm out, and started yelping. Silly me, I thought “That’s one awful cramp for a 40 foot walk…“
And then he made the sort of noise that puts a Mama’s heart in her throat as her stomach drops to her toes. And whipped his arm down and away from his body. And out of his sleeve came THIS:
(Photo stolen from here)
It landed on the kitchen floor tile in front of the island (which I was safely behind) and all I could do was stare in mute horror. I could not even comfort my sobbing son, I was so freaked out about this giant bug that was obviously predatory and now IN. MY. HOUSE.
(Photo stolen from the same place. If your skin’s not crawling, you didn’t click the link.)
Thank goodness, Goat Daddy had just finished his workout and had the presence of mind to take the towel from around his neck, thwack it on the ginormous buzzing creature from hell, and get it out the back door. Thank goodness, too, that Goat #1 had the presence of mind to ask me for some ice to put on his belly and arm where the monster had TRIED TO EAT HIM, because my brain was so frozen I couldn’t think what to do next.
All of this is to say: I’m probably not the girl you want on your side for the killer bee invasion. Probably not the zombie apocalypse, either. Apparently I have the emergency skillz of Michael Brown.
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