Waltz In Exile

11 April 2012, 4:26 pm
Filed under: Not at all what I expected, Running/Racing | Tags: ,

I never came back and told y’all how I did in that little (ha, ha, hahaha) race I ran last year, did I?

Well, I finished.* Seriously, that’s the best spin I can put on it. And really, the extent of what I have to say about it.  Oh, wait. I did do a sorta summary of it for my little sister (the REAL runner of the family) (she’s like YOUNG and shit, though, so it’s totally unfair) when I got home. Here — I shall share:

Dear [little sister who asked how the race was]:

It was…well, it was good and bad.

Good in that, hey, I finished, and for most of the race, felt really good.
And good in that, hey, I learned things I will do differently next time. (What. Oh, you HAD to know there’d be a next time LOL)**
Bad in that: miles 9 & 10 sucked so hard that I honestly don’t know how I kept moving (some guy collided with me at the water gate right after the speedway [Hey! I’ve done a lap at Indy!] and we both almost went down, and I almost took out a water volunteer with me; the pit stop I chose to take [because I drank too much water because I was scared all of the “you’ll dehydrate!” people would be right, because it was a good 15 degrees warmer than it’s been for ANY of my long runs this whole year] ended up costing me almost 5 minutes, and then the water gate by the 10 mile marker was actually BEFORE the timing strip, but I also was REALLY thirsty at that point, since I hadn’t gotten any water right outside the speedway, but I’d learned my lesson about running past water, so I walked it, and THEN my shoe came untied [WTF, SHOE!] so after mile 8, I never got my rhythm back again until so close to the end that it was crazy…)
Oh, and I learned that I do NOT want to drink Gatorade DURING the race ever again (stupid me forgot I’d never done it during training and it just sounded good and ARGH bellyache)
So, I was 17 minutes (almost 18) over my official personal goal of “under three hours) and I swear I was the last person in my whole running club, EVEN THE WALKERS BEAT ME.***
  • 1) Now I have to do another one, because hello, I am SO getting done in under 3 hours.
  • B) My split at the “Yard of Bricks” (between miles 7 and 8, but I don’t know where) had me finishing at 2:47 – I was running 12:48/mile at that point, DAMN IT.
  • IV) But live and learn, and now I know what not to do or do differently next time, and I won’t be AS nervous, so….Yeah.  There’s a “Blues at the Crossroads” half-marathon here 9-10 (which I believe is the day before Chicago for you, yes?) and Abby’s already talked me into it.
  • Five) It’s still a purple minivan, but that “13.1” magnet on the back makes it look MUCH COOLER.
  • G) On the speedway, one of the sideline fans had a sign that said “For all the girls who got picked last in gym” and although I never got picked last, I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND THAT, and I actually ran ACROSS the field of runners to high five her. She grinned like it made her day, which made MY day, and that HAD to be the high point of the whole race for me.*****
*Twenty-six thousand, one hundred thirty-second place, to be exact.
**May 5th, Columbus, Ohio: Cap City Half Marathon.  AND, little sister real runner is running with me.  *ahem* “with” me.  Okay, she’ll also be there, is what I’m trying to say.
***Seriously, y’all, I basically only beat the people who were watching at home.  And yet…. Still with the ridiculous pride, and the crazy-ass grin, and the endorphins when it was really over.  As Potes**** would say: Triumph of the Spirit!
****If you are not reading any of her recaps on twop, shame on you. You are missing out. Go. Now. Here.
*****Probably the highlight of the whole experience, though, was the starting corral giddyfest BEFORE the race even began. I don’t know if it is nerves or what, but I am almost delirious at the starting line.  In my start corral for Indy, there was a woman above the street in a cherry picker (with a megaphone) and at one point, she said “Hey, Corral U! Today’s April’s birthday! Everybody say “Happy Birthday, April!”” and all I could think was “Who the hell names their kid ‘April’ when her birthday is May 7th?” Apparently I said it OUT LOUD, because the man and woman behind me started giggling, and then the guy said “Maybe she was SUPPOSED to be born in April…?” And I said “Do you suppose her mom ever said her name NICELY, then? Or was it more like ‘Oh, late AGAIN, HUH, APRIL…?'” So for the next ten minutes or so, the three of us would just randomly say “APRIL” like Seinfeld says “Newman” and we could NOT stop laughing.  And then I realized….I have a big sister. Named Tuesday. Who was born on a Friday. And I got beyond hysterical at that point, doubled over, so I had to explain (about Tuesday/Friday) why I almost stopped breathing from laughing so hard, and then the woman was actually laughing so hard she had a stomach cramp and then we were all near tears from laughing too hard.  Good times!

3 Comments so far
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I’m going to start going to races with a sign that reads: “You people are clearly all insane.”

Comment by Cherie

Only if you admit on the flip side “I’m so inspired!” 😛

Desperate times call for desperate candy. ~MK-G

Comment by waltzinexile

[…]  It absolutely made no sense. Honestly, it still makes no sense, and I’m training for my 2nd half-marathon. It’s a complete cliche, but when I turned 40, I did a quick inventory, and thought […]

Pingback by Opsimath « Waltz In Exile

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