I don’t know what’s going on with the universe, but wherever I look, cute babies abound. All over the web? Check. At the grocery store? Check. At the mall? Check. I spent over an hour in Macy’s newborn department last weekend, oohing and ahhing about teeny tiny clothes. And even though I intellectually knew that I was shopping for shower gifts for pregnant friends of ours, I swear my traitorous ovaries were rioting. They HURT. Just from looking at baby clothes! Okay, fine, also the nomnomnomalicious wee one who was cooing in the infant carrier in her mother’s arms one rack over might have had something to do with it, but still. I’m beginning to wonder if there’s not some internal coup being staged here. If perhaps the primordial follicles aren’t starting to get themselves organized, maybe start a union, do some picketing about how no one in the big bad brain bothered to ask THEM if they wanted to be out of work.
It’s a little unnerving. I’ve not had the “baby bug” before; we never had time. One day we had the following conversation:
Future Goat Daddy: I read a study that says that women who have been on the pill for a long time may have to wait up to two years for their fertility to be optimal again.
Me: So what are you saying?
FGD: Well, kids are in the ‘two year plan,’ right?
Me: So what are you saying?
FGD: Maybe you ought to think about stopping taking the pill?
Me: Maybe I will.
Before I could decide if I wanted to renew my monthly prescription, the ept told me not to bother weighing the pros and cons of that one. And the next time we talked about whether it was time to have a(nother) baby, it went almost exactly the same way. So here I am, standing on the tracks as the #40 express train is barrelling toward me, and I have two insane uncontrollable amazing kids whom I adore, without ever having experienced that pull to have them. That ache, that emptiness that I’ve heard about/read about/sympathized with friends about. Until…well, until the #40 express started barrelling toward me, actually.
Goat Daddy would go for it in a minute; he’s always wanted more kids. We used to talk about having enough for our own hoops team. (Yeah, go ahead and laugh. I just did. Can you imagine me trying to run a zone defense against my progeny? BWAHAHAHAHA! We can’t even manage a decent man-to-man ’round here.) Turns out, though, that it’s a lot harder than my mom made it look to have five kids. I’m assuming, anyway. Considering we’re having trouble with just two, I’m guessing it doesn’t get easier if you add three more.
ONE more, though….Hmmmm.
Obviously, I’m insane. I am way too busy to be indulging in baby fever. I think it’s time to haul out the old pictures and satisfy myself (oh get your minds out of the gutter) with memories of chubby baby cheeks and arms, and legs, and bellies nom nom nom) instead. Maybe that’ll work. (You: Oh, sure, that will work. Me: Shut up and enjoy the delicious juiciness of my baby girl.)
Birth Day
Still Zen. Still chunkalicious.
Yawning. With cheeks!
Squeaky bath-clean cheeks!
In mah xersossr. Wif cheekz.
Ballerina or stuffed sausage?
Oh NOES. Mah cheekz r gawn.
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Waltz In Exile 
*nom nom nom*
I had baby fever ’til I discovered my vampire books. (Don’t tell anyone. That’s really embarrassing.)
Comment by Cynical Nymph 10 February 2009 @ 4:13 pmI’d like to add that keeping the Christmas dress picture up, even sans cheeks, is NOT going to help you get over your ovarian affliction.
Comment by Cynical Nymph 10 February 2009 @ 6:24 pmI’ve been battling this same affliction for days now. Well, longer than that, but it seems like it’s really kicked me hard in the gut in the last few days. Apparently (there’s that word again), I’m the only one around here with this problem, though, so we’ll see how effective I am in overruling anyone!
Comment by foradifferentkindofgirl (fadkog) 10 February 2009 @ 6:46 pmBabies are adorable. They smell good. They’re cute. They’re funny with their wiggling and ogling and cooing.
Then?
They become toddlers.
I rest my case.
Comment by Steph 10 February 2009 @ 9:17 pmSigh. Weird. Going through this, but with additional stress of having two boys and badly wanting a girl. Husband is dead-set against, so its a no-go. Thanks so much for your kind words on my post!
Comment by Ann 10 February 2009 @ 9:18 pmSweet baby jesus, those pictures even made ME want another one. And that’s damn near impossible to do.
Comment by bejewell 11 February 2009 @ 12:12 amA) I’m on the platform, #40 ticket in hand so you’re getting no sympathy from me that you only have 11 months.
Comment by Stacy 12 February 2009 @ 9:39 pm2) Not that I know this first hand……but I’m pretty sure a “Good God, this isn’t really happening!” scare [last month], the cute-ness of it wears off really quickly!
Be glad you didn’t go to BlissDom then… LOTS of cute babies everywhere. I have two kids and AFAIC, my breeding years are over but do you think that stops these ridiculous urges to hold babies and stuff? Hell no.
Comment by Caffeinatrix 13 February 2009 @ 12:14 amMy three are 11, 13 and 15, I have had baby fever for the last 5 years. That is why I have a 3 legged dog. My SigO, thinks it is easier than a baby. He may be right, but still… I hear a baby, my ovaries and breasts scream “baby baby baby”
Comment by TracyB 13 February 2009 @ 11:06 pmI miss all the babies in my life…which is only making my ovaries scream louder.
Comment by Heather 14 February 2009 @ 11:09 pmI have to shout down my traitorous ovaries on a daily basis. My body says, “Go ahead, get preganant again, what’s the big deal?” While my head screams, “ARE YOU F*&%ING INSANE???”
Comment by blissfully caffeinated 15 February 2009 @ 7:32 pmOh. Mah. Gahhhh. That beautiful, perfect, stunning, alabaster skin. I could love the stuffing right out of her!!
Comment by Lesley 16 February 2009 @ 3:16 amGirrrrr. You should tweet your posts. I’m like an idiot over here who assumes there’s no posts because I didn’t see any tweets! Then I got over here and posts galore! (Which you know, if super big treat to have all of them at once YAY ME!) But you know…did I mention I’m an idiot? Durrr.
Comment by Lesley 16 February 2009 @ 3:18 amAnd that was supposed to be “Girrrrl.” Like pretty girl. Not GIRRRR like I’m groaning or something. And there ya have it: Three comments on the same post. Breakin’ ur blog: I duz it.
Comment by Lesley 16 February 2009 @ 3:20 amWith the birth of my newest niece last month I have been heard on more than one occasion to exclaim….”Down ovaries, down!”
There HAS been an explosion of babies lately (and I’m not just talking about Octo-Mom and her litter either!), and whilst I know there will never be another one for me, I ache to hold a newborn babe in my amrs and just inhale.
Of course, this latest bout of melancholy could have to do with the fact that we’re about to move the Little Imp into her big girl bed.
*sigh*
Comment by Auds 17 February 2009 @ 3:41 pmSee I have been urging everyone to procreate so I can live vicariously off them! Given my antisocial ways and my health issues I’m not sure if I will have kids or not so I need people to make babies for me to be “Auntie Kee” to, so I am totally OK with you making another goat…
Comment by Karen 19 February 2009 @ 5:23 amYou must procreate more just like that. Those cheeks. That hair. Babies.
Comment by Allison 1 March 2009 @ 9:48 am