Waltz In Exile


Brachyology
1 December 2009, 3:12 pm
Filed under: Family, For Fun, Goats, P2, P3 | Tags: , , ,

This morning, like every weekday morning, I got the kids up and herded them downstairs and let them snuggle under blankets on the couch while I got their breakfast.

This morning, like almost every weekday morning, the television was tuned to the news, because I’d been up watching it and having coffee since the IO woke me up at 5:30.

This morning, unlike most weekday mornings, Goat #2 was wide awake and cheerful and giggly, and when I tucked her in, she said “Sofa children?”

This morning, like any morning when Goat #2 is in a playful mood, she made me laugh out loud and I nodded and agreed “Yes, sofa children.”

This morning, unlike any other morning, instead of smiling happily that I found her amusing, Goat #2 actually cackled with glee at me and yelled “Sofa Children!” like it was the funniest thing she’d ever heard.

This morning, unlike most mornings, grumpy not-morning-goat Goat #1 laughed out loud, too, and exchanged a glance with Goat #2 over (what I thought was) her cleverness.

And then, this morning became like every other morning since Goat #1 was born, when he shattered my illusions* by saying “She wants a SHOW FOR CHILDREN, Mom.”

Like, DUH.

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* Two days before Goat #1 was born, at what turned out to be my last prenatal appointment, the doctor affirmed a “very healthy 8 poundsish little girl to be born in about two weeks.”  Two days later, my 9 pound, 12 ounce boy made his debut.

P.S. I hate to finally post again without addressing the long absence, but we’ll consider that part of the theme today, shall we?  I simply had to share this; I have a zillion things I want to post/share/get out of my head, but they’ll have to hold just a bit longer.  However, I DID find my camera (poor maligned IO, accused of eating it) so I should be posting some very cute pictures soon, as well as dumping the contents of my scattered brain for (all seven of) you to enjoy.



Synecdoche

I know, I know: I totally suck. I’m worse than Trannyhead; she’s at least growing another human being and has some excuse. Also, she included hawt seasonal Sumo pictures. I’m not even going to have any cute goat photos to distract you with, because I can’t find my camera.

I’ve neglected my blog. I’ve neglected YOUR blogs. My feed reader shows triple digit “new” posts. And when I tried to catch up a little bit today, the first thing I read was Steph’s great post about connecting with people via teh interwebz and I felt so effing bad I couldn’t continue. Also, fadkog and Auds have posted about thirty gajillion times since the last time I managed and now I’m overwhelmed with how far behind I’ve fallen and can’t write a word. Continue reading



Teacher’s Pet
2 September 2009, 1:20 pm
Filed under: Family, For Fun, Goats, P2 | Tags: , , ,

Goat #1’s first assignment of the school year was to write some suggestions for a class pet.  I’m just going to let his homework speak for itself:

Can you say OVERACHIEVER…?
***

I’m guessing the child of two Type A parents doesn’t have much choice but to be so thorough.  Anyone else having fun with the back-to-school stuff?
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***Not sure what I’m doing wrong, but the link above seems to go to a page with YET ANOTHER link on it, called “Teachers Pet” so just click that if you get there, too. Trust me, it’s worth it.



Xylocopa
31 August 2009, 10:23 pm
Filed under: GIANT MOTHERF***ING BUGS, Goats, P2 | Tags: ,

Tonight when I got home with the Goats, Goat #1 was so into his DS game that he stayed in the car after Goat #2 and I came in the house.  He didn’t come in for almost 15 minutes, so I was in the kitchen still getting dinner underway when he finally came in the back door.  When he did, he was holding his right arm at a weird angle, with his DS case sort of tucked against his body with his elbow.  He said “My arm really hurts, and I don’t know why!”

I thought he must have a weird cramp from carrying his case so awkwardly.  So I took his case from him, and set it on the counter.  As soon as I had the case, he tried to straighten his arm out, and started yelping.  Silly me, I thought “That’s one awful cramp for a 40 foot walk…Continue reading



Liveblogging: Goat-free Hour #30

My offspring just called to tell me they’ve been riding around in a tractor-pulled cart all morning and helping Goat Cousin sort out things for a garage sale.  Goat #1 was especially excited to tell me that “there’s an iron, Mom, an iron, and Grandma said if we needed one that we could have it, and Mom, WE DON’T HAVE AN IRON, MOM!

Um, yes, we do.  But thanks for letting Grandma know that we must not have one because you’ve never ever ever seen your mother use it.  (No, I don’t iron.  I hate to iron.  And I suck at it.  [Now that Grandma knows, we might as well tell teh intarwebz, right?]) Continue reading



Liveblogging: Goat-free Hour #13
13 June 2009, 9:37 pm
Filed under: Family, Goat-free, Goats, Liveblogging, P2, P3, Quiet (I think I remember this) | Tags: ,

We’ve been trying unsuccessfully to call Goat Grandma on her cell phone for the past 90 minutes.

This made us more than just a little bit nervous. Continue reading



Vicissitude
11 June 2009, 11:58 pm
Filed under: Family, Goats, Marriage, P2, P3, Survey/Poll | Tags: , , , ,

So.

The goats’ grandma is coming this weekend, and I have a problem.

And I need all (11) of you people to help me. (Oh, stop. This isn’t a woe-is-me, ack my MIL is visiting post.) Continue reading



Foison
31 May 2009, 8:31 pm
Filed under: Family, For Fun, Goats, Over Herd, P2, P3 | Tags: , ,

This is my life.

Goat #1 and Goat #2 are playing Play-Doh at the kitchen island.  I am standing on the other side of the counter, trying to get things ready for lunch (not easy without using the island space I normally use) and Goat Daddy is around the corner in the laundry room.

Goat #2 to Goat #1:  Look at all my parrots I made!

Goat #1:  Wow!  That IS a lot of parrots!

Goat #2:  I know!

Goat #1:  That’s like…like…that’s an ARMY of parrots!

Goat #2:  Yes!  An ARMY of parrots!

Goat Daddy:  So that would make them parrot troopers…?

Everyday is like this, people.  Every. Day.

And no, I’m not complaining.



Speechless Sunday
31 May 2009, 1:01 am
Filed under: Family, For Fun, Goats, P2, P3, Photos | Tags:
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Best Captions win prizes; leave ’em in the comments.



Wharf Air
16 March 2009, 10:35 pm
Filed under: Family, Goats, P2, P3, Wellness

Screw the “Ocean Breeze” and “Harbor Mist” candles we have lighted all over the house to mask the smells of Lysol and bleach (and Lysol with bleach).  Screw the Lysol and bleach and Lysol with bleach that aren’t doing jack to combat the bioterrorists’ germ-smuggling capabilities.  Screw the VapoRub-stained pajamas and towels and that awful smell.  Screw the humidifiers that need to be refilled every 3 hours.  Screw the children’s cold medicine — that I can only buy two bottles at a time, because I apparently live in meth valley? — that says “causes drowsiness” because damned if it’s making anyone around here drowsy but ME.  Screw the DayQuil that knocks me out and the NyQuil that makes me teh stoopid.  Screw the stupid sore throat from breathing through my mouth all night long.  Screw this flu; I’m not messing around anymore.  What’s that saying?  Never bring a knife to a gunfight?  Well, I’ve called in the big guns now.  The Agent Orange of Cold & Flu Season: Hot and Sour soup.  By the quart.

It. Is. ON.